Discipline

I am finding that one of the most difficult things for me is struggling to discipline students.  I do feel that if I was the teacher and made my expectations clear from day 1 of school it would be a bit easier and structured.  In this class I struggle a lot because I don't feel comfortable using the discipline 'check' system and I think I'm stricter than the teacher.  It's hard for me to tell a student they are getting a mark because I guess I give marks more liberally than the teacher because my expectations are different.  My teacher has been teaching close to 30 years so maybe once I have that much experience my expectations will be similar to hers, but right now all I think is that these students are capable of doing much better with more direction and consequence.  When it takes 3rd grade students 5-10 minutes to line up quietly before leaving the room every time they go into the hall I think that is unacceptable!  If I was the person giving marks I would give between 10 and 20 during that time period for their behavior.  However, the teacher lets them spend at least 5 minutes loudly getting into line before even threatening to give marks and then only marks about 3 children.  Since I am so different in how I give marks, I feel like I can't do it in the classroom because it's not consistent with the teacher.

I also have a major problem disciplining one particular student who is defiant and talks back.  He is one of those students that always insists he doesn't deserve a mark and he wasn't doing anything.  One big problem is his mother also wants to know why he is receiving marks and so if I am giving him marks I'm putting the teacher in a more difficult position.  As it is he really doesn't get many marks and for being one of the most disruptive students in school.  He does have an IEP for certain things which adds even more of an issue to what he is being disciplined for.  Technically he is allowed to read if he is upset because it calms him down.  But this doesn't apply if he is not following directions.  In general, I am just constantly confused on what should be allowed with him since he has accommodations.  It just makes it difficult that he does not accept responsibility for his actions.  The teacher does back me up if I ask him to do something or give him a mark, but it's very difficult for me to be in this awkward position.  I know that if I don't follow through then he will quickly catch on and not respect me at all (he's very smart about things like that).  He did say I was mean the other day, which I take as a compliment that I am doing a good job since the only other person he calls mean is the TA who I think uses discipline well with him.  A lot of his problems are about being disrespectful or not listening to directions and he seems to know exactly how to get a teacher frustrated.  The teacher seems to let him get away with things.  One day 3 other teachers came up to her to complain about him teasing a student in the hall and then yelling in the hall.  The teacher called him aside and talked to him for 1 minute about his behavior and that was all.  No consequences.  Anyways, this is a very frustrating discipline system for me so I am hoping that as I go along in the next few weeks I will be able to keep respect and have them listen to me, particularly this one situation.